Birth&Death...Mother&Child Circle Now Complete.

From Birth to Death..Mother and Child's Circle of Life. 

RIDE WITH STARS
Feb 12th 1980
This beauty arrived. 

Happy Natal Day to a Child Gone, but Never Forgotten. From a mother's view. 

I honor this day to a child named Nicole, today is the first day another soul touched me so deep, beyond all the love I'd ever known. My first encounter with this magical baby girl, with eyes so blue, I knew the cosmos was behind you. We rode the nights and danced with grandmother moon while we both grew.

 I was allowed the time and grace to show you much, but dear you were teacher and me the student grasshopper so small. There are so many memories they flood each year, on this day, in this moment, I used to be sad, and shy away for sometimes the pain I couldn't bear for years I asked why? I'd of gladly gone instead. 

I can only measure time in this realm, in seconds and minutes, and hours and days months and years, and so for seventeen years I held your hand or you held mine, I yelled at you sometimes, I cradled you even when you said you were way past all that, I watched shine, even watched you crash a few times. 

Today, is different you see because this year, it is eighteen years (as I count) now more than you were physically here, so I have readjusted my time conception because I remembered looking into those magical blue eyes, and know the cosmos was on our side. You ride with me each day, the wind, the smell of sweet carnation, the suns warmth reminds me of your smile, the rains cool touch like yours after holding and wondering about how ice melts. I walk among the earth barefoot so that I never forget you were blessed unto me with care and light but what you left me was a world of magic and delight.

So in closing my sweet child, my Sweet Nicole I honor this day as the day we both were birthed anew, with more adventures to go through, and not one moment will pass where I every forget your magical blue eyes, through the cosmos we ride every time for now you are the cosmos carrying me. Love always your MOM...

Free spirits is all that we truly are, it comes from the stardust and energy beyond our time. Sitting here today, I feel every soul is born free and then somewhere we get trapped we succumb to the ties and binds of the being human. I ask today, how have I done on accepting everything that has come my way in this fifty one tiny speck of years that I have been here? I pondered so many things, my mom, my grams, my daughter, all of the feminine divine all left my world so early, I accepted it in my own time and ways I suppose just like everyone who has every had to deal with life on life terms. I moved through all the stages of reckoning on my part, I lost my freedom for a bit, dived way to deep and stayed to long in places I should have never let my soul go. I climbed back out, slowly and feeling beaten but once the light hit my nose or my caught my eye, something always turned those tides. A smell from long ago, as a child was my grams way of letting me know time to let go. My mother's moment came so many years later, after she passed I was sitting at my desk and a wave of freeing energy hit me, I instantly drew back to my mom hugging me and telling me all her good energy was no gushing into me and I would carry it with me always..we were connected no matter what or where, or how or why made no difference child you are mine. My daughter Nicole, hers has been quite a journey as it is will never feel natural to me for me to have left before her. I accept this. I also however, spent years mourning her birth and death days I stayed to long there. Then one day in spring I got a glimpse of child walking by it was Nicole, right down to the Head of Heels perfume wafting my way, she waved and smiled and at me, I lost sight of the young lady, before I could wave back..it made me smile. 

Today it has been eighteen years of her being gone, one more year than she graced this planet with her physical beauty. I realized the circle is complete in the micro sense of letting go , and moving on she has come full circle through the cosmos to carry me, until the macro circle of me leaving this time and place where our energies and souls join once more to the great divine and beyond all space and time we will ride.