Valentine LOVE THYSELF.

A LOVE we have to pay for?? Valentine's is right around the corner in fact tomorrow. So I started thinking of LOVE. It's a couples thing, for the most part, we all know this. It comes once a year and apparently if you spend like crazy and do it all up right, your good for a whole year. Good sound marketing and public relations. It works too that what amazes me? I have never really celebrated many of the commercial holidays. I wasn't raised with those traditions, we had them when we went to other family members houses but not in ours.

LOVE is the air, that is the mojo for twenty four hours. I have had it both ways, with a partner, and kids, also what I used to call alone. I no longer feel that way. It seems somehow shameful or pitiful to be a ONE on this day. Why is that? Personally, I think it is because there is truly a fear in most people of the "being alone" something must be wrong right??? Stigma bullshit, but so needed or I wouldn't be writing this article..hm mm ponder that awhile.

I made a decision that tomorrow I would pamper myself like I have done for so many others over the years. I am going to plan and participate just as if I was the "VIP", wow it looks really NOW in the written words. I love myself I said silently, but I kept coming back to that sentence. When did I stop considering me a VIP?? It rattled me a bit, then it challenged me to treat this day as the day I would get back to the basic of being a VIP in my world, and in my life. I also, for one moment realized just how much moving away from spirit and balance I had become. Truth is doesn't have to even be a large amount, just a mi note tilt and I am wobbling and drifting away.  I sit here, feeling humbled and in LOVE with this new information and one more layer of me revealed. The moment is filled with grace and gratitude, and just like that the plan came together..

Now I won't reveal what the plan is but it starts at my morning rise and shine with the feminine divine ritual, with a little added LOVE my favorite french baguette recipe, my favorite coca chocolate , and Buddha tea. All of these require special trips to speciality stores I have found and used over the years, but I never used them just for me......

I am smiling right now, as I find pleasure and true bliss in my soul, as I have before, but with two distinct differences.
1. It's truly all about ME. I feel so much LOVE right now
2. I willingly am choosing to not save it for one day a year, I will indulge in myself as I do others, on a daily basis.  Above the normal care.

Stay tuned for tomorrow's post on as I take you with me on my journey documenting each moment of Loving myself. I am my Valentine, the love of my life, in all my light and all my dark, no shame, no less than or back of line for me...Take a moment to reflect over your day, couple, kids, one, doesn't matter did you spend the same energy on YOU as you did on OTHERS>

LOVE THYSELF ABOVE ALL ELSE.

Birth&Death...Mother&Child Circle Now Complete.

From Birth to Death..Mother and Child's Circle of Life. 

RIDE WITH STARS
Feb 12th 1980
This beauty arrived. 

Happy Natal Day to a Child Gone, but Never Forgotten. From a mother's view. 

I honor this day to a child named Nicole, today is the first day another soul touched me so deep, beyond all the love I'd ever known. My first encounter with this magical baby girl, with eyes so blue, I knew the cosmos was behind you. We rode the nights and danced with grandmother moon while we both grew.

 I was allowed the time and grace to show you much, but dear you were teacher and me the student grasshopper so small. There are so many memories they flood each year, on this day, in this moment, I used to be sad, and shy away for sometimes the pain I couldn't bear for years I asked why? I'd of gladly gone instead. 

I can only measure time in this realm, in seconds and minutes, and hours and days months and years, and so for seventeen years I held your hand or you held mine, I yelled at you sometimes, I cradled you even when you said you were way past all that, I watched shine, even watched you crash a few times. 

Today, is different you see because this year, it is eighteen years (as I count) now more than you were physically here, so I have readjusted my time conception because I remembered looking into those magical blue eyes, and know the cosmos was on our side. You ride with me each day, the wind, the smell of sweet carnation, the suns warmth reminds me of your smile, the rains cool touch like yours after holding and wondering about how ice melts. I walk among the earth barefoot so that I never forget you were blessed unto me with care and light but what you left me was a world of magic and delight.

So in closing my sweet child, my Sweet Nicole I honor this day as the day we both were birthed anew, with more adventures to go through, and not one moment will pass where I every forget your magical blue eyes, through the cosmos we ride every time for now you are the cosmos carrying me. Love always your MOM...

Free spirits is all that we truly are, it comes from the stardust and energy beyond our time. Sitting here today, I feel every soul is born free and then somewhere we get trapped we succumb to the ties and binds of the being human. I ask today, how have I done on accepting everything that has come my way in this fifty one tiny speck of years that I have been here? I pondered so many things, my mom, my grams, my daughter, all of the feminine divine all left my world so early, I accepted it in my own time and ways I suppose just like everyone who has every had to deal with life on life terms. I moved through all the stages of reckoning on my part, I lost my freedom for a bit, dived way to deep and stayed to long in places I should have never let my soul go. I climbed back out, slowly and feeling beaten but once the light hit my nose or my caught my eye, something always turned those tides. A smell from long ago, as a child was my grams way of letting me know time to let go. My mother's moment came so many years later, after she passed I was sitting at my desk and a wave of freeing energy hit me, I instantly drew back to my mom hugging me and telling me all her good energy was no gushing into me and I would carry it with me always..we were connected no matter what or where, or how or why made no difference child you are mine. My daughter Nicole, hers has been quite a journey as it is will never feel natural to me for me to have left before her. I accept this. I also however, spent years mourning her birth and death days I stayed to long there. Then one day in spring I got a glimpse of child walking by it was Nicole, right down to the Head of Heels perfume wafting my way, she waved and smiled and at me, I lost sight of the young lady, before I could wave back..it made me smile. 

Today it has been eighteen years of her being gone, one more year than she graced this planet with her physical beauty. I realized the circle is complete in the micro sense of letting go , and moving on she has come full circle through the cosmos to carry me, until the macro circle of me leaving this time and place where our energies and souls join once more to the great divine and beyond all space and time we will ride. 

A mantra for every moment of the 24 hour you have been blessed with. 

Blessed be 

Naturally Perfect.

When I entered this world, and took my first breath the Universe in all its divinity stopped and whispered “You are legacy my child” one of my favorite sayings my grams would whisper in my ear and a kiss goodnight.

It never dawns on us children to feel anything else but Cosmically Naturally Perfect. How do we go from that blissful place of absolute unconditional love and pure faith in it all to wavering uncertainty in everything? We go through life, or that is my experience.

Everything is naturally perfect just as it is. All phenomena appear in their uniqueness as part of the continually changing pattern. These patterns are vibrant with meaning and significance at every moment; yet there is no significance to attach to such meanings beyond the moment in which they present themselves. This is the dance of the five elements in which matter is a symbol of energy and energy a symbol of emptiness. We are a symbol of our own enlightenment. With no effort or practice whatsoever, liberation or enlightenment is already here. My reasoning side introduction.

Nature versus Nurture model of course is the longest standing example. The truth is; it is both of these energies occurring the time span we define as childhood. The energies are never exactly the same in child, why? simply we are all uniquely designed to be that specific way. The Naturally Perfect being. Let me stop here and clarify perfect I don't profess to know the origin of my existence, it is a power greater than me but being so powerful it's design is above my pay grade in this lifetime. It is Perfect in that it has knowledge like building a human meat skeleton. I do not. End of clarity.

Then comes media, society, our peers, the whole world seems to know how YOU, ME, THEM, should be PERFECT. Notice the difference, in just the phrasing of that sentence, and the most important word is completely missing. Our second worst enemy, is our gender my very own sisters, and we perpetuate it by serving the conformity of what a few have deemed “TRUTH” ourselves being the forefront runner in this race of course.

I purpose right here and now unto myself, the inner self that knows and is ready to remind me of what Naturally Perfect truly is. I will honor every wrinkle and line, scar and stretch mark, age spots, and achy bones, broken heart, and scorned self-esteem, every hurt, and disappointment and take each one into my bosom hold it tight and whisper”you are legacy my child”.

So that's what I have done, I paused from this blog and sat in my most loving position legs drawn up in fetal style with arms gently hugging my chest. I closed my eyes and in a flash it was like the old view masters, the slide was in and in order, every wrinkle had a rhyme and reason beauty, and ugliness came to visit on each one. The scars on the outside were of easily soothed by oil I rubbed on them loving them away. The stretch marks' oh my children not one I regret I think I will leave those be, it's a beautiful memory I won't forget.

Each one I held close or cried over just a bit, then with one big breath I exhaled and thought I'm a on way, just a few more to release and I will be free. I finished with repeating I am Enough nothing else is required I am legacy of Naturally Perfect...

A Sick Grand Baby.. Healing Remedies from Boho "BOBO"

I am known to most as Boho She Wolf, but there are two very special magical darlings that call me "BOBO". I have recently had the pleasure of being back with them on a regular basis. I love the magic of children, they believe anything is possible and nothing is impossible. They dream in the natural state, they truly have not learned any other way YET.

My two year old grand darling Aiden has been fighting a chest cold for weeks now. Every time I think we got this licked it re-surfaces. I am the grams of the old ancient ways, I believe in all natural healing and remedies from our dear sweet Mother Earth. I also believe that there is a remedy for everything that ails us. So I have been watching and listening for weeks and this one has me stumped.

So I started again today with my little man, we started with totally re-vamping his diet again. This time we went with only fresh vegetables and fruits (RAW was highly recommended). We made our homemade Vapor Rub

RECIPE VAPOR RUB

1/2 cup of coconut oil
30 drops Eucalyptus oil
30 drops of Peppermint oil
mix generously
Rub directly on the front side of the chest down to the naval area. Rub the entire back area following along the lung and rib cage area. Also cover the kidney areas as well. We do house socks here, so we also rub it on his feet.

I have started to check for all kinds of allergies a trying task indeed. We continue with breathing treatments filled with colts foot herb we use the diffused oil. One can always but the bulk herb and boil it down to get the consistency needed for the breathing treatment. I know I am missing something, I just can't put my finger on it. I would love to hear some of the remedies every one else had used and is tried and true.

We also are monitoring his rest and down time. Also very trying with a two year old. I also implemented a healing meditation that he listens to through the I-pod, it is engaging enough for him to get a least of good dose of energy.

I have made up a dose of the best congestion tea I have ever come across and trust me I am old, so have tried many. This one is the simplest and most effective, I don't start the cold season without lots and lots of batches. Now the recipe will follow, but if you are making it the wee ones, then you have to change it up a bit cause their palettes are little more sensitive.

 RECIPE FOR CHEST CONGESTION (batch)

Ginger- 2 large peeled and shredded
Honey- organic is best, (extra bonus helps with allergies) I use 1 cup this varies to taste
Lemon- 4 big lemons extract all the juice but save the rinds.
Garlic- 4 gloves crushed
Raw Onion- 1 medium raw onion diced very very fine.
and I add a bit of cranberry concentrate to soften the blow of the taste for the kiddos.
I also use a green tea or white tea. - fresh leaves are best but bags will do use organic.

Cut and mix all ingredients mix together in a large mason jar. Let sit for 1 hour or more. Make ahead of time and store in nice cool space to ferment. Then boil the tea and steep for 15 minutes add two teaspoons full to each cup of tea. I place the kiddos in the freezer for a bit also add crushed ice and they guzzle it down.



Bobo's day today was all about healing and getting out of myself by engaging to help someone else. My agenda was to help my poor little wee one, and in turn it helped me as well. I needed a moment outside myself today, and this was the perfect outlet. I am truly blessed and so grateful that the universe continues to show me solutions and graces me so much beauty in my life. I am one lucky BOBO....

Victim or Victor???

VICTIM OR VICTOR ALWAYS A CHOICE.



It's Sunday, and finally a moment to silence the house is empty. Grabbed my notebook and started pondering a question that has been on my mind one more time in my life. Really, you would think at Crone status I might have just picked a little more than I thought Especially, after it's come around more than once. My truth is morsel by morsel, or tin-bit by tin-it, seems to be my pace.

Every situation requires a decision and every decision is comprised of choices, it's like a blank canvas every time, and of those choices are consequences or that has been my experience.
So here is question What am I choosing  VICTIM OR VICTOR?

My current situation has me back to square one give a cm or two. Humor goes a long way right now.  I have been processing, my general reaction to this whole situation was why is this happening to me? then it was look what you have done to me, how could you do what you did and destroy all that was good? I played the poor pity me and see how I have been treated. VICTIM that was my choice? Now I will say, it did not take me nearly as long as the previous oh hundred times give or take, but I started going back over the situation which by the way truly does become clearer the further you step away and detach. (not easy but necessary) Well, there is the next article, oh boy the juices are flowing.

Back to the beginning, I started with a pad and paper and listed the very first decision I made in this ordeal then next to it I wrote the choices were there are always choices. Then I looked at both sides of the consequences that occurred, boy was I astonished. Here I thought I had been the VICTOR in all this you know the good gal, who got all this dumped on her and done to her? I was wrong, you see as I went back, I noticed I actively choose at some points to engage in the victim role, this is a pattern that has plagued me since oh many many moons ago, each time I cross this bridge I think this is the last time I go down this road, well guess what DE JAVU.  Then something also showed itself, this had never happened before I went over it again, and I found where I did make the VICTOR choices, and that was progress.  Now I am left with I did both!!! Smiled for a moment, then stopped I remembered the above saying and then my V8 moment hit. One more time went up to the the list and counted how many of each I had made. Yup two more VICTIM's then VICTOR.  In that moment, I felt sickened but like a purge had just occurred, and I now knew more than I had before.

The preverbal  VICTIM status is all about ME how I have been wronged or hurt or whatever, it presumes that everybody and everything is "DOING TO YOU" false illusion. No one or nothing is being done to you it is choices of other's that simply by mathematical  probabilities  you will be affected.  The ripple effect. Taking it all to personal is what messed me up, I forgot that one key element, I let my victim pattern get in my head and it changed the course of everything. How do I do the VICTOR part, well that is a little tricky still for me to give you a blow by blow of exactly how to do it the truth is I am still learning. I do know that for me just seeing a little more today, than I did yesterday, facing that EGO side and putting it to bed just for a bit is being a victor, I guess also, humbling is a Victor for me as it has and I am grateful.

As I close I would like to say, I believe for me I have to always have a little victim in me ( as I choose to change the pattern by my decisions and choices) so I can have the truest definition of VICTOR in me. Perhaps, one day I will have the exact formula, but for now I can say, one more time I learned, and I love myself more today, this fall leads to a rise, in this moment right HERE, VICTOR's looking closer and closer all the time as a pattern of true-self choice.

Sunday's Affirmation. Blessings

Sometimes, we must shed to grow anew....and that means people too.

Howling with Life...

Well with the full moon already in her glorious movement of this phase I wanted to stop, and reflect, listen to what has truly transpired in this time for me. It seems to all about RELEASING AND GAINING FREEDOM. I spent much of the first night in meditation, healing and forgiving myself for all that needed to be cleansed. Much to my amazement, which by now it shouldn't but anyways, there was plenty to be acknowledged and faced head on. The feelings that night were all over the place, hard to stay in the moment, and really feel each one. It was kinda like watching a slideshow, moving at a pace faster than the eye can grasp. Uncomfortable kept creeping in too, uneasy with my own silence my own vulnerability, facing what is surely disconnected. First night moon proved to be a igniting of more to come.

The second night of the full moon, turned deeply dark as I kept getting sucked down into the vortex of the night. I sat in my darkness, embraced it all of it for it lives in me. Tears flowing non-stop some I understood, some I just tasted the saltiness it reminded me of the sea, and I did not understand. The washing away of hurt, pain, and betrayal these were the tangy and distasteful. I was granted the stillness of the night, when it stood still things slowed to a halt and in that moment clarity and vision struck me. I cannot say I felt freedom but oh the release of the waters of my choices, they swirled murky and muddled as they flooded out from the corners of my eyes. Yes, the second night of this February Full Moon came and went leaving me in limbo til night 3.

AWE the third night of grandmother moon. This how I greeted her, as my family, as my elder with wisdom and lessons to be gained and pained. The releasing from the night before broke through the dam that I had built over the last moon phase. I called to her and she answered with bright light and glowing praise. She wrapped me in her power the cosmos energy surrounded me. This last might I came to believe that FREEDOM and RELEASE go hand in hand and one cannot achieve one with the other. Freedom is RELEASE.

It was a gloriously painful moon phase, and yet here I write all the beautiful sorrowful moments and the gift of seeing them through. Love, Light and Peace.

FREE SPIRIT MOJO FOR THE DAY

What do you see in this photo that frees your spirit?

Dowry of Sacrifice...

I am sitting here wondering are all women, females taught the same thing? Are we taunted  relentlessly to sacrifice ourselves for the good of everything and everyone else? Is this the fairy tale that most of us were trained to swallow? OH how we are taught with a smile and cup of tea to conform and camouflage our true selves so that we can have the " Perfect Life".  Doesn't matter what the image is I'm sure we all had our versions. I'll bet that if we all sat side by side our stories and tales would be so similar it would scare the shit out of us. We might think some evil magic is abound. I say it is, in the form of raising the female in a world and society that hardly acknowledges our true souls, and the divine feminine that we are born with.

I have spent most of my life unlearning what I got handed down to me like some sort of dowry, and personally  I thought it was awful then I think it stinks even more now that I have the wonderful pleasure of life's lessons and the universe's sense of humor to help correct these childhood nightmares. My mother was a women of the 60's a mother earth, love not war peace kind of gal, now I will say I got so many wonderful gifts from her and my grams (will get back to her in a bit), they taught me to pay attention to my body, how to holistically heal and remedy with what nature supplied. They showed me and encouraged me always to look for the good in all people. I learned the difference between religion and spirituality and to keep an open heart always. These are the amazing attributes these women passed on to me. They also passed on several virtues that I would find later to contradict some of the finer things I mentioned above. My mom was a love not war kind of gal, to the tune of 13 marriages before I was 15. I saw her fall in love with love, she made it seem like a Cinderella story. I remember meeting one of my 'new dads" on a Thursday, and returning on Sunday from visiting a dad, the man was gone and my mom off to the Bahamas. She whirl winded and danced around each man like he was the entire universe and most of them were spell bounded by her she was in their minds the "Free Spirit Philly looking to be tamed". This was the downfall for them, and the marriage part set in for my mom and well we all know how it ended. I remember my mom when she wasn't with a man, the time was sparse, but she seemed truly free and unabated when she stood alone. I remember her excitement of Square Dancing, how she shined, I watched her write poetry, and yoga and meditation. She dabbled in magic and dream walking. She even became a healer in one of her more longer stints. I thought that is what I how I want to be, then it would suddenly all go away when the next male strolled by: she gave it all up, her passions and her love of doing for herself. She devoted every aspect to him and even us "the family unit" like it had to some Ozzie and Harriet home. She once told me "Baby girl you have the spirit of wolf, the magic of healer and the heart of wanderer, but that will not get you through life, you must lead two lives one for yourself and one for society. I did not understand. I do now.

I later asked my mom why she said that she simply replied because that is what grams taught me and her mother taught her, it is the way of a woman in this time and space. I knew I did not agree, but in the end I still repeat that same crap from time to time. They say the universe keeps giving you what you need until you get the lesson down pat. One more time for me.

I said I would get back to grams, she was a one man kind of gal. 45 years of marriage, through thick and thin, hard times and good times, 9 children three passed. She was a native woman and she was also known to many as the local hoodoo woman.All kinds of folks came from all over to see her. I remember going to the shed her office and in it was magic and it moved me. I felt at home there, she did too. I could see it in her face. Then when everyone left and she went back to the house there was a sadness that took over, a negative energy that spoke of time to sacrifice mask back to conformity. She told me once, she really didn't like my grandpa very much, he wasn't much of a spiritual being, but a marriage that was bought and paid for and my grams the prize. I now understand how we as woman get trapped into living two lives, being two people and most don't know both of them very well.
American

So there ya have it, I had two powerful, magical, divine feminine spirits who both knew of their true inner beauty, and walked their path, but in secret and in the shadows hidden from the real world, they then would masks themselves and move or shift into some world, that molds and alters our perceptions into believing we are somehow less than and need to SAVE THE EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE....I say no more, stop drinking the damn kook-aid.

Be the untamed forever free spirit all the time not in secret, behind closed doors, for no one can be touched by a boxed spirit.